I don't hate you passengers 24c, 25d, 23d, 24e

passenger 24c, i don't hate you because you are fat, i hate you because the friction and heat between our thighs is causing our sweat to co-mingle in a way only lovers should experience.

passenger 25d, i don't hate you for your extraordinarily clean teeth. i hate you for thinking an airplane is a good place to bust out your dental floss and free the rotting flesh of the big mac meal from between your teeth.

passenger 23d, i don't hate you for the 27 second gaps in your breathing caused by a wicked case of sleep apnea. i hate you for making me fear you may die on this plane and possibly delay my arrival in dallas.

passenger 24c, i don't hate you for being randomly placed beside me. i hate you for not being the woman randomly placed in 23c that greatly resembles selma hyek and smells like a petite and fragile wildflower riding a spring breeze.

finally, passenger 24e, i don't hate you for your natural curriosity and interest in me, i hate you for constantly peeking at my sketch book attempting to read what i am writting andd wondering if i will write about you. fuck off you nosey bastard.

[From Ultramicroscopic]

Stroller Daddies

"There's this thing called natural selection, and I think it is a big part of all of us, at least all of the female us's. When I see a Stroller Daddy, the first thing I look at is the kid in the stroller. Cute kid--I'll check out the dad. Ugly or scrawny or mean-looking kid--just keep on moving. On the streets of Manhattan there's enough eye candy that just a stroller isn't going to do it for me. He's got to show that he's got good genes or else I don't have time."

"...I am sorry to insult my male readership but you guys are just not attuned to feminine subtlety. It's not about being hit on by a gum-cracking ho with cherry lipstick and some scary Electra issues. It's about the Mona Lisa smile."


Catch up on the whole stroller daddy discussion by clicking here.

Husband with Digital Camera Part 1

If you're in a crunch, don't hesitate to call Jane if you need a baby sitter. And don't worry, she hasn't slept walk home from a baby-sitting job in 19 years!

Strike a Pose

In case you wondered what it takes to be a model. For women, start by being about 5 feet, 10 inches and wearing a Size 4. I've seen size 4 clothing -- it's for dressing up dolls. [via Halley's Comment]

monstrous geriatric marbles

Something you don't witness every day [via allied]

Cartoons

This guy is good.

Here are two samples: